Share his message.

Okay, so I struggle with creativity this week. I wasn't sure what to talk about in this blog and even now as I type...i'm not sure where this may go but I pray- God direct me.

"God guide my hands as I type this so that I can share your message"

I was asked to be a guest blogger and write about "What I wish I knew"...Man, as I sat down and wrote a list it was a page long... tears welled up in my eyes as I looked backward into my heart, my mind & my journey and wished I could start again.

I am naturally a person who is sentimental. I remember a lot. I keep a prayer journal to remind me of God's faithfulness. I keep hurts close. I remember words for longer than I should. I hold on to the past when God tells me to move forward. So this blog is hard and easy for me to do all at the same time.

Let's start with a little about me. I am a 26 year old momma and wife who daily strives to live passionately for Christ. I stay at home with my 18 month old dolly and enjoying capturing life through a lens with photography. I grew up on a farm and went to college near home. I met my husband while he and I were both attending that local University and from the moment I met him, my life was changed for the better.

Tyler quickly caught my attention and my heart and I guess that leads me to point one and honestly my first regret- distraction.

Satan will use whatever he can to distract us from our whole heart being focused and on fire for Christ. If you are saved, he may use things that were meant for good, for evil. Perhaps your life is filled with noise just as mine is. Good things, good noise but still ,noise.

In my case, he used the pull of a close family and many events to distract, he used a relationship that was formed and orchestrated by God to distract, he used expectations of how life was supposed to go to distract from my faith in God and bring questioning. Satan will do whatever he can to get you to love anything more than you love Jesus.

In my case, I regret not learning discipline and turning off the noise. I regret allowing the enemy to distract me from my passion and opportunity to share Jesus with the lost during those years when I was in such a great environment to do so.

"God I pray for focus, focus on you & the things that you want me to do for your kingdom, help me to share your message"

After my husband and I met and fell in love, life was good. For me, it was Hallmark movie good. We met at church, our families loved us together, we married & continued following Christ. We had it easy, I think that is where my next regret comes in. I got stagnant in my faith. Where there was once passion and fire to share what God had done in my life, there was comfortableness.

I lived in that "on the mountain" phase for too long. You know that song, "the God on the mountain is still the God in the valley." Well, when I was on the mountain and life was good I didn't seem to talk to God. I didn't pray, read his word or even remember who he was most days. It seemed that my comfortableness became something that pulled me away from my relationship with my Savior. Oh, how time was wasted and so much growth was lost because I chose to ignore my Father who had given me that "good life" I was content with. I regret comfortableness and allowing myself to get stale.

"God I pray that even when life is good that you help me to have a desire and passion within me to walk with you each day and grow deeper in my knowledge of you. Help me when life is comfortable to share your message."

About the time I realized how stagnant I had been in my relationship with Christ I was asked to share my testimony at church. Fitting right?! This lead to a new found passion for what God had done and pulled me out of sinkhole of staleness and into remembering how good our God is. This also brought ministry opportunities.

I had been considering but not thought much about discipling someone college aged. I had been reading in Timothy and knew the importance of walking alongside someone in their faith and mentoring them. So soon after sharing my testimoney I was asked to disciple a local college girl.

Just the act of obedience in sharing my story turned into one of my greatest blessings. In following the example of Paul & Timothy, I shared my story, my life with someone who needed encouragement, Godly advice and someday's just a listening ear. This leads me to my last regret I'm going to share.

I had always thought that my story, my struggles, my fears, my walk with Christ was mine and it wasn't something that needed to be shared. I hid all these things inside as I went about life as a 'poser.' I acted the right way, said the right things to other Christians but I didn't share my real journey with anyone really, other than my husband. I wasn't allowing what God was teaching me, doing in my life to bring Glory to him by keeping it to myself.

I didn't allow God to speak and work through me because I was silent. God had placed people in my path- in my college classes, in my church, in my workplace that needed me to be God's hands and feet. God wanted me to to reach out to them, walk alongside them being REAL and GENUINE, but I didn't. I let too many people come in my life and out of my life during too many different seasons without sharing the gospel and loving them like Christ calls us to.

"God help me to not let one person that you place in my life miss seeing the love of Christ, the joy you bring, the hope only you give & the relationship you can offer. Help me to share your message"

These are just a few of my many regrets, but instead of dwelling on them- I look forward. I read his word and it tells me that he has given each of us a new day. Each new day allows us to grow, to push forward into creating new stories of how God has moved. Thank you God for the unending opportunity for fresh beginnings.

"God today, please help us with starting over. May we be able each day to put off our old self, quiet the noise in our lives, walk along side someone in their journey and take up our our cross to share your message."

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." — Lamentations 3:22-23

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” — Ephesians 4:22-2