I am still here.

Oh my lanta, I am just overwhelmed as I look around my house and see Christmas everywhere! One client stopped by my house this Christmas season and said, "Wow, it looks like Christmas threw up in here!" We won't judge her for her tact, hehe, BUT she was telling the truth. Ever since I was a little girl I have been Christmas crazy, there is nothing like the excitement, the anticipation, the joy, the wonder, the magic of Christmas. Even as an adult I get those same butterflies as my husband and I drag the tree (s) up from the basement and begin decorating. With Christmas music playing, evergreen candles lit and the sentimental feeling as I pull each and every meaningful ornament out of the box and unwrap the crumpled tissue paper that so delicately covers these precious pieces of my Christmas pasts.

"I remember when Grandma Virgie gave this to me when I was only 9..." "Do you remember picking this out when we were first dating?" "Carol gave this to us at our wedding shower" There are so many memories filling my home during this Christmas season. The weeks pass quickly before the big day, the hustle and bustle of last minute shopping, the Christmas programs and practices for the big Christmas Eve services... It all comes and goes so quickly...

This year, I had just embarked on a new adventure right before Christmas season began. I started my own photography business, Reflecting Him Photography. As a stay at home momma, I love taking pictures and decided to leap into this with complete faith that God would guide my journey. However, it made Christmas even fly by faster with editing photos, capturing others Christmas card photos and having some of my Christmas decorations sprawled out in my garage for props until just a few days before Christmas. (Don't judge me, it was a crazy year!)

Just a few nights before the 25th I sat in my spot on the countertop in the corner of our kitchen and tears began to fall...'it comes so quickly and then its gone...I don't want Christmas to come, can't we just stay at this day forever?" I loved belting out Joy to the World while I fixed sweet pea lunch each day, I loved turning the outside Christmas lights on before Ty got home each night, I loved reading 'Room for a little one' every day during breakfast to baby doll, I loved every bit of the Christmas anticipation, except when I realized it would soon be over.

Tyler tried to convince me that is was exciting to begin a new year and I hesitantly agreed, after all I didn't have much of a choice.

This brings me to now, the whole reason I am writing this blog or trying to write this blog today. As I said, I am new photographer and some of the videos and webinars I have watched have stated you should do these light and airy product shots, whether it be lifestyle props of a combination of what you are doing or working on that day, or specifically for a blog post, or to show off new props or products you have for your clients to see. I have tried this a couple of times and so today, on Jan 5th, I decided to again.

I was overwhelmed by the thought of taking down Christmas...so I decided to photograph that. I searched the house for the most "photograph worthy" items and came up with a few things. I had a few ornaments, greenery, a few photography props and baby Jesus from a tiny nativity that makes it's home miss M's room during the Christmas season. I laid them all out and staged them as best as I could trying to make it of course, Pinterest worthy. I took the shots and began putting away the things I'd staged. I grabbed the ornaments, greenery, props and put them away... I walked back in to an image that seemed to capture my heart.

Sitting on the white paper backdrop with the studio lights shining and reflecting off the sparkles, it hit me. There was baby Jesus with no newborn santa hat, no greenery, no ornaments, just baby Jesus. It was almost unreal as God spoke to me, 'I am still here.' With such weird feelings unfolding in my heart, I sat and cried on the floor in my tiny, makeshift studio looking at baby Jesus and feeling so sorry I'd made it about everything else. I had consumed my thoughts with wanting my house to look like it came out of Kirkland's catalog, wanting the Christmas songs and feelings to fill me up when the only thing that can fill that gap in my heart is him. It may seem small, but in that moment I wished there was a button to rewind and try Christmas again.

So I sit here typing this, next to a tree with lights still on it and ornaments half off, my red tubs in the basement so unorganized my mother would have a panic attack if she saw them knowing that it's okay that Christmas is over, he is still here. Every morning I get to wake up and know he loves me, chose me and trust him to bring me joy each and every day not just during Christmas time.

Have you been sulking after Christmas with that melancholy feeling? Leave your Christmas decorations out if it's going to help for a little longer, pour a cup of coffee and grab baby Jesus from your nativity and just sit with him. Physically sit with him, it is more powerful than you would know. Pray for the new year, for lost friends and family, for goals that you'd like to reach, for coworkers or other mommas you want to grow relationships with.

There is so much we can do in 2017 but it all starts with Jesus.

"So take down the stockings, take back the sweaters Take down the lights and the star and the tree But don’t let this world take your joy after Christmas Take joy to the world and just sing Happy day after Christmas And merry rest of the year Even when Christmas is over The light of the world is still here"- Matthew West, Day after Christmas